Because our society has taken civil rights and gone over the line. Everything offends someone, and God forbid someone gets offended. I get offended on a daily basis, by the amount of stupidity exhibited by people on a daily basis, but that’s their deal, and for the most part if you are offended by something you really aren’t forced to be a part of it, so don’t and let the rest of us enjoy ourselves in peace. Specifically, I’m talking about team names and the lame people who are offended by them.

First off are the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, who I reported back in May ‘06 were considering a name change… now they are going through with the name change, and its a good thing they were never coached by this guy, cause if they were they would have surely been embarrassed when they reached down to find out they don’t have a pair. After considering it, they are going to go ahead and unveil their new logo pretty soon, the logo they felt necessary because some christian citizens of St. Petersberg find the word ‘devil’ offensive…. and I’m really at a loss of words to try and explain just how asinine a complaint that is. Does that mean that Loony Toons is offensive because it features a Tasmanian Devil? Because if their complaint is really worth listening to, then Warner Brothers has been shoving satanic propaganda down the throats of children for decades now.

So now the bad baseball team has to have an even worse nickname, the ‘Rays’. Is that like a team of guys named Ray? Does it have any connection to the show Everyone Loves Raymond? That’s just terrible. I never thought there could be worse mascot than ‘marlin’, but yep: ray. That’s about as menacing sounding as a Care Bear.

Another instance is one that I found from Manchester, New Hampshire. Seems that the two high schools in the area are named the ‘Crusaders’ and ‘Little Green’. Now Little Green is just weird, and I’ll leave it at that, but some rando who was from the area and now at Dartmouth, the ball-less Ibrahim Elshamy, thinks that both mascots are “hurtful”. Thankfully the schools out there have a spine, and they’re not changing a thing. But Ibrahim thinks that the mascot Crusaders is offensive because it represents Christians who killed people. That’s laughable.

What’s funny to me is that you don’t hear about Greeks protesting the use of Spartans as a mascot, or condom manufacturers calling up USC and asking them to drop their moniker.

My response to anyone who agrees that Devil Rays and Crusaders are highly offensive mascots is please take your head, pull it out of… wherever it is you keep it, and realize that if you keep crying wolf over things like team names that no one is going to take you seriously when you finally have a legitimate reason for being offended, like me calling Ibrahim Elshamy a giant bag of douche… I’ll bet that’s pretty offensive for him, but honestly, I don’t care right now.