Sammy Sosa too fat to play in Japan? Not too fat to play in Texas evidently.

The Texas Rangers took a shot today, and according to MLB Trade Rumors, Sosa inked a $500,000 minor league deal packed full of incentives like brining back the jerry curl and a bonus for every clean pee test. Sammy has become a bit of a joke in Major League Baseball, but this is eerily similar to the kind of offer the Oakland A’s made to Frank Thomas… although to be fair the Big Hurt had a heel problem, not a lack of steroids/ corked bats problem.

Anyway, playing in a hitter’s friendly park won’t hurt, and the Rangers staff seems to feel that Sammy was just having a problem with his mechanics in Baltimore. The guys at Baseball Prospectus beg to differ and say that Sammy will be… well… complete crap. My money is on complete crap; Sammy should be dancing with the stars, not holding players like Jason Botts back ’cause he wants to hit number 600.